Our Separation Journeys

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As we begin a new year in the Trust and Caring community the big thing on our minds is separation. We are asking ourselves how can we help each little person and their family find the right ways for them to separate?

Separation can be a challenging time for everyone and navigating this process in a positive way can look very different from one person to the next. At MYIS we aim to help each little person and their family work calmly and confidently through the stages of separation process.

The Stages of the Separation Process at MY   

LITTLE PERSON: CAREGIVER:
Stage 1: Introduction

  • The child is comfortable to stay by the caregiver’s side, on lap, hold hands etc.
  • The child is observing the environment by watching, listening, smiling etc.
  • The child and the caregiver move along to different centers/specials together.
Stage 1: Introduction

  • The caregiver stays by the child’s side and assure his/her  security
  • The caregiver and the child move along to different centers/specials together.
Stage 2: Caregiver remains in the one designated area of the room on the chairs provided

  • The child confidently explores different centers/ specials by him/herself for a certain period of time.
  • The child understands that he/she can always make their way to his/her caregiver when needed.
  • The child looks to where his/her caregiver is seated to assure his/her security and then continue his/her activity.
Stage 2: Caregiver remains in the one designated area of the room on the chairs provided

  • The caregiver  remains on the seat in designated area
  • The caregiver is not needed to shadow the child around during the program because the child is confident to explore on his/her own.
  • The caregiver helps the child feel that she/he is not fun to be around during our program.
  • The caregiver receives the child with love when he/she approach.
  • The caregiver should not talk with other families while in the classroom.
Stage 3:  Beginning

  • The child is familiar with the routines.
  • The child is able to approach the teacher for his/her needs
  • The child knows the name of some of his/her friends.
Stage 3:  Beginning

  • The caregiver agrees that the child is familiar with the routines, is able to approach the teacher for his/her needs and knows the name of some of his/her friends
  • The caregiver feels that the child is ready for the next step
Stage 4: Caregivers leaves the class for certain duration of time, returning at the agreed time

  • The child is informed when his/her caregiver is coming back
  • The child receives good bye love, hug, kiss etc.
Stage 4: Caregivers leave the class for certain duration of time, returning at the agreed time

  • The caregiver confidently say goodbye to the child before leaving the class
  • The caregiver promises the child when she will return and do return at the promised time.
  • The caregiver trusts that the team will be able to handle the situation.
Stage 5: Caregiver leaves for extended period of time, returning at the agreed time with the child.

  • The child is informed when his/her caregiver is coming back
  • The child receives good bye love, hug, kiss etc.
Stage 5: Caregiver leaves for extended period of time, returning at the agreed time with the child.

  • The caregiver feels that the child is ready for extended period of time.
  • The caregiver confidently says goodbye to the child before leaving the class
  • The caregiver promises the child when she will return and do return at the promised time.
  • The caregiver trusts that the team will be able to handle the situation.
Stage 6: Conclusion, Exiting

  • The child is given some time to settle in before the caregiver says goodbye.
  • The child understands the goodbye routine.
  • The child is confident to say goodbye to the caregiver because she trust that the caregiver returns and pick his/her up at the end of program.
Stage 6: Conclusion, Exiting

  • The caregiver makes sure that child is happily settled in; takes time before saying goodbye to the child.
  • The caregiver discusses, understands and implements the goodbye routine.
  • The caregiver is confident to say goodbye to the child.

Janet Lansbury, is a parenting advisor and teacher. In this brief article https://www.janetlansbury.com/2018/03/separating-confidence-clingy-child/ she speaks about some ways of confidently separating and the messages adults can be sending our little people. It highlights the importance of viewing little people as capable of managing situations and expressing themselves. This points out the importance of the messages, both verbal and non-verbal, we are sending our little people. Are we showing them that we are confident with our body language? Are we speaking with in them ways that build a positive image of themselves?     

As we keep these thoughts and question in mind, here are some other tips that may help make separation smoother:     

  • Make your own goodbye ritual. It could be anything, for example, you might play together with the same toy each morning, visit the animals or have a hug and a kiss before your goodbye.
  • Clearly communicate a time you will return and use our routine to help mark the time, for example, “I’m going now and I’ll be back at lunch time”.
  • Highlight the positives. Talk about who you will see at school and the fun things that will or did happen that day.

However, it works best for you and your little person do stick to a routine. As respected early childhood educator, Magda Gerber said “predictability brings about security.” Routines help us understand what’s coming next and feel more comfortable at any age. As we work through this journey together please keep in mind that just as each person is unique, so to is each separation journey.

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  • What a helpful blog post! It is so nice to have the separation policy to refer to and to hear the message that each child’s uniqueness is valued in your classroom 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to share this with us!

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